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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24744127">...or you could have mine?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/amirlywritingfanficnow/pseuds/amirlywritingfanficnow'>amirlywritingfanficnow</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>9-1-1 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Buck has adhd, Posted on Tumblr first, Sensory Overload, Supportive Eddie Diaz</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 04:26:55</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>954</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24744127</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/amirlywritingfanficnow/pseuds/amirlywritingfanficnow</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>There's too much going on between his agitation, people talking over each other, the way his uniform feels more scratchy than it ever has, and the bright lights. He can't sit still and he knows he's starting to annoy everyone but he can't help it no matter how much he wish he could with his medication. </p><p>or</p><p>Basically just ADHD buck :)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>415</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>...or you could have mine?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>i just used my experience dealing with ADHD and forgetting medication so yeah!! </p><p>tiny tw for a mentioned panic attack!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Buck feels like he's about to vibrate out of his own skin. He can't sit still. He bounces his leg and taps his fingers on the table at the station and he knows everyone is looking at him. </p><p>He'd been diagnosed with ADHD in his freshman year of high school when his teachers called in his parents and told them he should get tested. His parents didn't handle it well. The only thing they had focused on was Buck's low grades and that ADHD was just another annoyance from him. Low grades just meant he was stupid but that was never the case. He understood the material easily, but he could never focus or sit still enough to finish or even start his homework. He aced every pop quiz and test there was but that wasn't enough to keep up his grades. </p><p>It changed once he'd been put on medication for his ADHD. His grades improved by a lot and he was able to concentrate a lot better but just because he wasn't getting failing grades didn't meant his disorder wasn't an inconvenience for his image obsessed parents. Having a son with a disorder wasn't something they thought they needed so they let the medication and their housekeeper deal with him. </p><p>He'd been on Concerta since he was seventeen years old, the last time he'd had a medication change. When he first moved to Los Angeles, he figured he could stop the medication that pretty much controlled his teenage and adult years. When he experiences a major panic attack in the middle of a target due to sensory overload, he books an appointment with a psychiatrist that his old one had recommended to him when said he was moving. He gets reprimanded for trying to stop after five years on the medication and feels like a child, then heads straight to the pharmacy to fill the medication like he always did. </p><p>He hadn't missed a day since then. Until today. </p><p>He wakes up agitated and he reaches for the bottle next to his bed when he realizes with dread he forgot to call his psychiatrist for the refill the day before. </p><p>He calls on his way to work but he knows he won't be able to get to pharmacy until after his shift so he's going to have to roll with it. Maybe it wouldn't be as bad as last time. </p><p>But it felt worse than last time. He's sitting at the table during lunch with his noisy crew in a firehouse. There's too much going on between his agitation, people talking over each other, the way his uniform feels more scratchy than it ever has, and the bright lights. He can't sit still and he knows he's starting to annoy everyone but he can't help it no matter how much he wish he could with his medication. </p><p>Chimney's laughter has Buck sliding back his seat aggressively, dropping the phone on his lap onto the floor, and runs to the locker room to try to tune out competing senses before he has a meltdown. He turns the light out, shuts the door and tries to focus on the coolness of the bench when puts his hands down. </p><p>He think he's doing okay until the door opens and he can hear the normal noises of a firehouse that seem too much for him right now. He looks up to see Eddie. </p><p>"Shut the door. Please." He says the first part with agitation and adds the please when Eddie's eyebrows shoot up. </p><p>"What's going on, man?" </p><p>Buck just shakes his head and grips the bench and tries with everything in him to stop bouncing his legs but he feels like he's vibrating with uncontrollable energy. </p><p>"Hey, it's okay. Calm down." He knows Eddie means well but he snaps. </p><p>"I can't just calm down. It's not that simple." </p><p>He shouts it, he really doesn't mean to but he's so agitated and he feels like he's back in grade school when his parents and teachers told him to just calm down. He really wished he could. </p><p>"I know it's not that simple-" </p><p>"No! You really don't, man." </p><p>"Than explain it to me." Eddie's voice is soft and Buck really hates that he's bothered by it. Without that medication, all he was was agitated and filled with uncontrollable energy that he can't put anywhere but into his words and his hyperactivity. He can't help it. </p><p>Buck huffs but he goes to explain anyway. "I have ADHD. I've been on this medication since I was seventeen and I haven't missed a day in four years. With everything that went on yesterday I forgot to call my psychiatrist to send a refill so I was out of them this morning. I can't sit still and I stormed out because of sensory overload. I needed to get away before I had a meltdown again." </p><p>Eddie sighs. "I'm sorry, man, is there anything I can do to help?" </p><p>Buck just shrugs. "I just need an outlet to put all of this energy into. I feel like I'm gonna vibrate out of my skin, man." </p><p>Eddie holds out his hand. "The gym is quiet right now. I'll put the pads on, put your focus and energy into boxing, maybe? Whatever I can do to help, I got your back." </p><p>Buck's face flushed and takes Eddie's hand to stand up. He expects him to drop it but he keeps a firm grip as they walk to the gym. </p><p>Buck feels focused and calm for the first time that day when the bell rings. Before they rush off to get ready to leave as fast as possible, Buck stops Eddie. </p><p>"Thanks, man." </p><p>"Any time." Eddie grins.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>comment? kudos? makes my day</p></blockquote></div></div>
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